Great. ... Another trophy that's not made out of Legos and is no fun to play with. ... This is just what I never wanted. ... Maybe if I give it to Mr. Mourinho he won't try to poke me in the eye. ... I just hope Xavi doesn't try to give it to Cesc as a present like he did with my shampoo...
This is how I sleep now!
WTF IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW
THE VIAGRA IS WORKING
Time for the disgraces. ... First, Andre Villas-Boas' breath smells like cat food. That's a Kitier Katba f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Fernando Torres gets to start instead of me. That's a f***ing insane f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Man United got the easiest Champions League group since every other year that they got the easiest Champions League group. That's an incomprehensibly lucky f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Chelsea got Bayer Leverkusen in our group, so that means we have to see Michael Ballack again. That's an awkward f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Torres, Mata and Romeu keep talking Spanish to each other, which makes me feel left out. But when I speak French to Malouda and Anelka they don't seem to care. Then, Kalou starts speaking French too and ruins everything like always. That's an annoying f***ing disgrace. ... Then there were those times those referees who probably make gluten-free foods that aren't actually gluten free cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...
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